Felt like saying something.

It has been long, hasn't it? Today I feel like writing the updates and how I feel now. Usually its my complains on how some people can be careless with their life today I feel like confessing my carelessness that I have realized recently. I'm always thinking of how people look down at me and how it makes me feel useless. But today after a long thought with me, myself and my heart and brain debating inside me of what maybe right and what maybe wrong. I am glad that I watch movies like Cyberbully and An American Crime. These two movies in specific has made a great impact on me that now I feel I have gone to the next level of maturity. There are lots of people out there suffering from diseases, child abuse, lack of attention, and dramas that can be much worse than we can barely imagine in their schools. When I compare these thing to my life I am truly thankful for my life that GOD, The Almighty has given to me. When I come to think of it, although I had annoying popular people around me destroying my confidence, I still had friends who stood by me. And even though they changed to be someone I rather keep a distance from, yet they were at least there when I needed a friend. When I think of my life walkthrough so far, I always had a balance. When there were mean people, I had nice people with me and even though the nice people change to some one else, the point is I still had someone who can stand by me. As for what I wanna do with my future in terms of job, I shall wait but try for what I love just so in the future I wouldn't regret not trying. All I have to experience is love but then again, I am so focused in my life now that I can't see love beyond me. And as much as I hope to feel love, I will but I guess just not yet. May the Lord guide me to love while I focus on my life and income and family. Those out there who feels down or felt like how I felt before, do watch the two movies I stated above as you will realize that you have a better life. And an important tip. While watching the movie do NOT make excuses and compare your life and make your life seem worse. Cuz that is what I did on my first try but the second try, I let myself in the movie and felt what the main characters feel and instantly realized that theirs is much worse. In case for those of you who do not know, An American Crime is based on a true story. That's all for today. I shall live my life ahead with my head held high.

Thought of happiness

I am always the kind of person who likes to share. I was suffering all june to do my 3D model right and good enough to pass. Finally I finished my poster design and 3D model turnaround thats is only created after building the 3D model. I asked my lecturer if it was easy to fail that subject and he said that its not easy to fail but easy to pass the subject required if you complete everything you should be done with for example completing all three projects in the subject. I got very happy and felt like a million ton of weight has been lifted of me and when I was so happy I couldn't resist to think of sharing and especially when my sister said that her evening plans were cancelled and that she could pick me up from anytime when I'm done. So I offered to go to the movies together and that I would buy her ticket. I wanted to watch Monster University as I heard nice things about that movie. I just wanted to share my happiness and be happy. She had to go to temple in the evening today and so she made a big fuss calling me stupid and being rude to me on the phone and said she would see what she can do. I know, selfish much.  I just wanted to be happy and she just crushed all my happiness and took my mother on her side. The thing is, I believe material things are like bribing GOD and that giving them material things is not what they want exactly. But my mother and sister have always been the kind where if GOD should know that you are very devoted to the almighty, therefore you must buy things to present it in return of the favor you asked GOD. It is sad when some people just put in so much into something when all you have to do is just show your devotion by the love you shower to all of GOD's creations and following his steps. So there goes my happiness when all I wanted was just to share and hope they would be happy for me.