Being in a family you think is wrong for you

As my title says, you guys might be thinking that I'm having issues with my family again. That is "If" I had mentioned it before. Not so sure already. You know how it feels like when you often get pushed by your very own family. When all you ever want is just to get them to feel the same as how you feel. I have a family but they don't think like one let alone act like one. I always feel like they preferred the worst for me. I know many of you will say that family does the best thing for you. But I don't feel that. You can try to push that fact of yours into me but I don't think I can ever except it. When I was younger I never understood much when they pushed me around. I thought I was the only they could count on for anything. But as I grew, I began to realise that they only pushed me to learn things I didn't I want to learn, just for their benefits. I, never had the chance to do want I always wanted to do. That's my life. Ever had a mother who believes in astrologers? Ever had a sister who always seems to crush whatever you believe in? Ever had a father who always were never there for you? Well, I have all and as much as I hate to say it, I feel like I am a child that was never meant to be born. I have heard my mother say it, I have heard my sister say it to me indirectly and I have also heard dad call me a demon child for one mistake I did. And all I ever wanted was just happiness and for us to be like a family. But in return I've got all these words and saying that hurts me so badly. I just wish I have a family to cry when I cry. To laugh when I laugh and to console me when I'm down. I wanted to be many things in life and even have a motto saying "Never regret in the future". But with my family's attitude I can't be what I want and that leads to not following or trying to keep my life motto alive. I can say that now, I'm doing multimedia out of force and in fear that I would have to do something that would make me be stuck in it for many years. And even now, I am a fool to still think that I have a chance to do what I want. My dreams, of being a singer and sending messages through my songs for people to be a better person. My dreams, of being in the film industry all seems to go down the drains for an effort I can't put in even if I want to. Reason, its all because I love my family for the name of family and I know leaving them to satisfy myself will break them. It's because of all this, I wish to find true love. A true love in my opinion is someone who excepts for who you are in shape, size, colour, attitude, moods, character, believes, interests and many more. A true love will have arguments but their are arguments to be cherished and laughed  in the near future. I need someone who would love me for me. I know I am not beautiful and thin as a model but I know I can make you happy when you are sad. Advise when you are lost or given up. All the torture in my family and in college has been far too much for me to handle. I need a shoulder to rest on. I need someone to say that "Everything is going to be okay". I need someone to whisper in my ears when we are alone that he loves me. I need the soft and warm comfort of someone because I have been alone for far too long and its time to have someone by my side. Till true love is found. The End.